So far, 2024 has been blessed by the Girls™ dropping new projects and keeping us fed. From Beyoncé to Taylor, Billie to Ariana, and rising stars like Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, and Rachel Chinouriri, my summer playlist is serving me breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
There is so much music that I have been enjoying, thinking about, and playing to death that I thought it fitting to do a quick rundown of what has been on the menu.
Now, if you find any discussion that involves two or more women in the same area of work to be “pitting women against each other,” please stop reading! Because to be honest, I think that is a fake and weird version of “feminism” and I love ranking stuff.
Let’s get into it.
The Tortured Poet’s Department:
For legal1 reasons: I would call myself fluent but currently non-practicing in Swiftism. Crucially, I did attend the Eras Tour and I did cry. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, if you are my girlfriend) Swift’s 11th studio album, The Tortured Poets Department (TTPD) ranks the lowest for me on this year’s Taking It scale.
When Swift announced this record at the 2024 Grammys, my life flashed before my eyes. Like many others, I was expecting a Reputation (Taylor’s Version) announcement. The second I registered what was happening, I thought I was having a stroke. Not out of excitement for new work but because I swore to God I must have heard her say the wrong title. The tortured what? Who?
The release of TTPD was met with perhaps the most fanfare of her entire career. However, much of the buzz around the album had little to do with the music itself and more to do with the singer’s lore which, was sure to be soaked throughout.
The diehards needed to know what happened between her and her ex, Joe Alwyn. They were insatiable for the Matty Healy mess to be addressed. And what about the football player!?
And wouldn’t you know—Swift delivered.
Clocking in at 31 songs, the surprise double drop of TTPD and The Anthology is a cascade of confession and conviction. Written, presumably, during the first leg of the Eras Tour—the pinnacle of her career. The album(s) are mixed with predictable melodies and Jack Antonoff’s unfettered reverb. At worst, it feels like nothing more than a chunk of content. At best, and if you walk with me for a moment, a reworking of Swift’s entire career. The number 31 is significant here as it is the reverse of her Claimed Number: 13.
Not one stone was left unturned. She loved a stoner for six years but was ultimately left bored by him. She had a trist with a Nazi and loved it. She wants you to know that no one else in the world could be her. And that is cool but also not. She really would like to tell her fans to fuck off (my favorite version of her, by the way). She was in love with Karlie Kloss in a gay way. Kim K catches a stray. And finally, yes, there is the football player. Plus 24 more songs to drive it all home!
I’d give Taylor Swift a 64% on the Taking It scale for this one. It’s too much stuffing with very little payoff. I think she needs to cut ties with Antonoff the second Reputation (Taylor’s Version) is sealed. But, as predicted (by me, about me), I enjoy her work with Dessner.
“But Daddy I Love Him” would have gone triple platinum on my Hello Kitty CD player back in the day (and likely still will on my Spotify Wrapped this year). I enjoy the more 90s singer-songwriter vibe she leans into in the latter half. “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart” would be fun yet truly harrowing to witness live.
Listening to TTPD and The Anthology feels like eating too big of a meal that you didn’t really want in the first place. I am left starved for any semblance of something real. It feels too catered to the sect of her fanbase obsessed with connecting invisible dots and believing she can do no wrong. All the while telling them how those actions make her life unlivable at times. Dark!
But slaaaaaay, she loves that football player!
eternal sunshine:
This record caught me off guard as I had no real intention of ever even listening to it. I enjoy an Ariana song here and there. I thought Sweetener was great. I think she is an interesting figure who often makes questionable choices in her appearance. And, a once-in-a-lifetime vocal talent. I loosely followed the Spongebob controversy of last year and heard she was dropping a concept album based on the True Depressed Person classic, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004).
For no reason at all, I woke up the morning of March 8th and decided to throw it on. By the time I reached the album’s title track, “eternal sunshine”, one thing became immediately clear: Ariana was here to take it. “I hope you feel alright when you’re in her” is an insane thing to say about your husband that you suspect of cheating and I love it.
I was wary and protective about how she was going to work the film’s narrative into the album because I was being snobby about how much I love that movie. However, it works. The record evokes that same feeling as Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey begging to forget each other because they love the other person too much.
Eternal Sunshine feels like being guided through a sort of funhouse—each room a different devastating yet hopeful swirl of feelings. Grande opens the record asking the question, “How can I tell if I’m in the right relationship?” Alluding to the circumstances of her three-year marriage with Dalton Gomez.
The album’s production is sharp, almost psychedelic at times, and easy to listen to. Ariana sounds better than ever and she has always sounded good. It’s short, sweet, and to the point. “I wish I hated you” is a stunning, quiet confession of the type of love that exists for a person after they break your heart. “Imperfect for you” has not left my on-repeat playlist since March.
The last room this record brings us to is our grandmother’s kitchen after we’ve laid out our darkest secrets to her. In a voice memo, Grande’s grandmother, Marjorie, takes our hand and answers the question posed at the start of the album. “And as I told her, never go to bed without kissin’ goodnight. That’s the worst thing to do. Don’t ever, ever do that. And if you can’t, if you don’t feel comfortable doing it–you’re in the wrong place, get out.”
Ms. Grande is back and she’s taking it.
HIT ME HARD AND SOFT:
Following her award season sweep for creating the saddest song on earth, Billie Eilish announced that her third studio album would drop in May of this year. If her two Oscars and nine Grammys were not enough to convince you of her supernatural powers, HIT ME HARD AND SOFT is sure to do the trick.
The record opens with the soft and haunting vocals Eilish is known for. The opening track, “SKINNY” eases us into her familiar flow of layered melodies and pointed lyrics. After confessing to the song’s subject, “I never did you wrong / My patience is gone / I never did you wrong / I loved you for so long” the song breaks into an atmospheric stream of string instruments. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, is taken over by an upbeat pop-synth that immediately takes us into the next track.
This quick change of pace in the album’s production, I think, is the project’s thesis. It does exactly what is asked of it in the title—hits the listener hard and soft.
As soon as that beat jumps to the second track, “LUNCH” it is clear that though the path of this record will be winding, it is sure to be fun. Stepping forward with an absolute sapphic banger such as “LUNCH” is somewhere even beyond a power move. I would call this Eilish’s “coming of age album” if she didn’t already seem so uniquely herself with every project she’s released.
What this album is to the rest of her catalog, however, is mature. Not only lyrically but overwhelmingly in its sound. A few of the same melodies appear throughout the entire record but are reworked each time through different instrumentals. The way this album progresses is intentional, it all means something. “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” is the best song she’s ever released. She started writing “BLUE” when she was fourteen years old. Like, I’m sorry this person is a prodigy.
I have nothing but praise for this album. I have had it on non-stop and each time not only do I hear something new, but I feel something new, too. I fear Ms. Eilish is Taking It to levels we previously did not know to exist.
COWBOY CARTER:
Beyoncé’s 2024 Superbowl commercial stopped me dead in my tracks. The following teaser that dropped made me feel like I was being hunted for sport. The release of “SIXTEEN CARRIAGES” and “TEXAS HOLD 'EM” minutes later put the nail in my coffin.
In the words of Adele, Beyoncé is the artist of my life. She is, without a doubt, the greatest living performer. A legend in her own right, I can’t think of a single person doing it like her. COWBOY CARTER is a testament to the kind of innovation she brings not only to her projects but, to the music industry as a whole.
Ten days before the album's release, Beyoncé took to her Instagram to give fans the backstory to this record, noting that it was born out of a time she felt unwelcomed. A time when it was made clear to her that she was not allowed to operate in all spaces.
She is, of course, referring to her appearance at the 2016 Country Music Awards. At which, she performed her (country) song, “Daddy Lessons” with The Chicks. Many racist country music fans and artists had issues with the performance and stirred up quite a controversy because of their lame-ass feelings. If you would like to read more about that night and its aftermath, Rolling Stone did a great deep-dive into the performance.
Beyoncé also stated that COWBOY CARTER was originally set to be released as the first installment of the trilogy that began with her 2022 album, RENAISSANCE. This fact sticks out to me for one reason; COWBOY CARTER is the perfect record. While I love RENAISSANCE, the idea that this insane person gave us a whole different album, a world tour, and a world tour documentary, with COWBOY CARTER in her back pocket the whole time is well, insane.
To pick a favorite off of this album would send me to Ms. Swift’s asylum. As a body of work, it is unlike anything I have ever heard. It is a country album, yes, but it is also a gospel record. It is also a blend of folk music and hip-hop. And, there are rock elements and melodic R&B runs around every corner. It is uniquely and unmistakably, a Beyoncé album.
COWBOY CARTER is a tale of American history, of love, of one woman’s experience made universal. It is a path forward, an offering of something new. In the album’s opening track, “AMERIICAN REQUIEM” Beyoncé literally hosts a funeral for the America(n) that does not want her to stand on every stage and, for the next 26 songs, inspires what could be.
There is fun to be had (“II HANDS II HEAVEN”, “YA YA”), love to share (“PROTECTOR”, “II MOST WANTED”), and love that's just hers (“JOLENE”, “DAUGHTER”)—so don’t touch her man!
She ends the album with a prayer in the closing track, “AMEN”. She asks, “Tell me, can you hear me now? / mercy on me, have mercy on me” before the song switches back to the chorus of “AMERIICAN REQUIEM” and the album finishes where it began. Because, like she already TOLD you, nothing really ends!
By my calculations, COWBOY CARTER goes beyond the highest meter on the Taking It scale. All Beyoncé had to do was remind us of what was already hers.
Swifties please do not send me death threats<3